


In a time of war

by BehindBrokenWindows



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Dumbledore tries to make Remus see that he's about to lose his opportunity, In Public, Love Confessions, M/M, Order of the Phoenix (Harry Potter), Second War with Voldemort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-20
Updated: 2019-09-20
Packaged: 2020-10-24 17:53:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,033
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20710118
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BehindBrokenWindows/pseuds/BehindBrokenWindows
Summary: Remus and Sirius are arguing a lot and no one knows why. Molly tries to make things normal in any way she can, but she can't help but be relieved when their argument finally seems to come to a head in the middle of an Order-meeting, and perhaps their issues might be resolved.*This now has aRussian translation!





	In a time of war

Remus and Sirius were always arguing. Not shouting, never that, but it was clear enough the way they withdrew together after muttering angrily to each other that their private exchanges were even angrier than the ones they whispered at each other. Always they stood far apart, unless Sirius leaned in to hiss something particularly biting for only Remus’ ears, and when they weren’t arguing they were on opposite sides of the room, looking anywhere but at each other and creating an icy tension that made every person present uncomfortable.

Molly didn’t understand how they could have been such good friends for so long, and end up in this way, so bitter and cold. She could understand Sirius Black; he had always been emotional, always unreliable and volatile, and he had recently spent twelve years in Azkaban. But Remus, sweet, kind, warm Remus hadn’t seemed like himself at all since the Order meetings became frequent occurrences in Grimmauld’s Place. Sometimes Molly even thought she could see the wolf within, when Remus’ complexion darkened, and his eyes spoke warnings against Sirius.

But Molly tried not to show her feelings, tried to hide the sadness their animosity brought her. She had hoped that their reunion would be of a great support to Harry when he could finally visit. They were his father’s best friends and knew his mother as well as any. She had hoped that they could… but no. Not with the anger between them; now it seemed more likely that neither of them had thought for poor Harry at all.

Molly tried to smooth out the tension whenever they were in a room together, and to divert their attention by other things. She was hoping that once they got some more meat on their bones it would help with their moods. She didn’t want them to dwell on the hardship they’d been through, together and apart.

But there was little Molly could do, so when their argument seemed to at last come to a head, she was almost relieved.

It was during an important meeting and the kitchen in Grimmauld’s Place was filled with people so that Remus and Sirius were standing together, but apart, by the wall to make room for everyone else. Dumbledore was there, as was Shacklebolt and the newly recruited Nymphadora Tonks, a clumsy little Metamorphmagus and Sirius’ cousin, and even Severus Snape. Remus had just returned from a mission with the werewolves, and he was haggard from the full moon.

“I don’t need protection,” Sirius drawled angrily, again. “Everyone else is out there risking their lives in their efforts against the Death Eaters, and all I’m good for is cooking dinner!”

“Which you don’t,” Remus growled. It was common knowledge that there had been no food the last time Remus returned to the house after the full moon, which had resulted in a heated fight, where not only the lack of food had been a topic, but also Sirius’ disregard for his own health. After that they hadn’t spoken to each other for a week at least, at would always exit the room when the other entered.

“I said I was sorry,” Sirius growled at him, before addressing Dumbledore again. “I can’t stay cooped up here any longer, it’s driving me mad.”

“Madder than you already are,” Remus muttered, louder than he used to so the entire room heard. Something must’ve happened the night before, because the very air between them seemed to have shifted, and at last their anger seemed to have reached the boiling point.

Sirius ignored Remus’ remark. “I need to do something, I can help. I will not stay here another day, while I could have helped!”

“You will stay in this house, in this room, in this very spot if I say so, until the ministry admits their mistake and declare you innocent,” Remus growled.

“But that’s not like to happen any time soon,” Tonks interjected. “Because the Prime –” The scorching look she received from Remus was enough to make her stop talking.

“Under other circumstances, Remus, I might have listened to you, but you threw that out the window. You said no, _you_ refused, so tell me, why should I listen to you now? Why should your opinion matter at all to me, when all you’re doing is making me miserable, taking away every opportunity of happiness like _Azkaban, like _–”

“Don’t you talk to me like that!” Remus growled, and it was like hearing the wolf, his voice was deep and throaty, and Sirius flinched away from him. “All I want is for you to see Harry again! For you to stay alive long enough to get to know him, to see how wonderful he is. All I want is for you to be alive, to be happy!”

“Well,” Sirius said, and his voice was thick and wavery. “You have a poor bloody way of showing it, Remus Lupin.”

“And what would you want me to do?” Remus asked, and he was himself again now, all sunken shoulders and tired voice.

“You know what I want.”

“Madness,” Remus muttered, shaking his head disbelievingly. “Madness, in a war, Sirius, you know that.”

“It’s not madness, Remus. If not now, when? We might be dead tomorrow.”

“Exactly my point!” Remus exclaimed, exasperated. Molly looked over at Arthur, who looked as confused and intrigued as she felt. “It’s not worth it,” Remus was saying, with such pain in his voice. “Can’t you imagine what it would be like?” He looked down at Sirius now, truly looked at him with an open, vulnerable expression on his face. “If you went out tomorrow and got captured, if they sent you back to Azkaban, or gave you to the dementors, can’t you _imagine_ how that would make me feel?”

“All the more reason!” Sirius grabbed Remus’ shoulders and held fast though Remus tried to twist from his grip. “All the more reason! At least then you will have nothing to regret, nothing –”

“Nothing to regret?” Remus asked disbelievingly, though some of the strength seemed to leave him in Sirius’ grip. “I’ll regret that I ever let you leave this house, I’ll regret I ever let you out of my sight. It’s not worth it, Sirius. I couldn’t take it if something happened to you. After everything, after James and Lilly, after Peter, after _thirteen years alone_ –” Remus’ voice broke, and his hand came up to cover his face.

“Of course it’s worth it, Remus. A _minute_ would be worth it, if only –”

“We’re going to die, don’t you see that? Why are you so set on inflicting more pain?”

“Not pain, Remus. Happiness, for a moment if that’s all there is.” Sirius was stroking Remus’ shoulder comfortingly now, and it took Molly a moment to place the embarrassment that had come over her. She had been at a loss as to what they were talking about, what exactly it was Remus was saying no to. Now, it was all too clear in her eyes. She felt an urgent need to leave them alone, to empty the room and let them be, but Dumbledore was muttering with Shacklebolt as if they were unaware of the other conversation in the room, though there was a strange little half-smile on Dumbledore’s lips. Molly looked at Arthur again, and saw that he still looked as confused as before. As did most of the others in the room.

“I’ll be dead in a month, or two, or three. Ripped apart by Greyback’s pack, torn limb from limb, what will you do then? We’re in a war, Sirius, and we are going to die, there is no chance – no chance that both of us be lucky enough to survive them both.”

“What does it matter that we die? Everyone dies, Remus.”

“Because,” Remus muttered, and now he spoke so silently Molly had to guess the rest of the sentence, but it sounded something like, “because I couldn’t bear it if you left me.” He slumped against the wall, Sirius’ hands slipping from his shoulders.

“I’ll take only a moment, Remus, if that is all we have. If that is all, it’s enough, and it’s better than months apart. It’s better than months of this!” Sirius licked his lips, then looked around the room at their audience, whom all pretended to be quite busy. Molly looked into her lap and fiddled with a lose thread on her dress.

“We’re not teenagers any more, Sirius,” Remus muttered.

“No, we’re not. But I still love you.” Molly felt her entire face go red as she looked up sharply, just soon enough to watch Sirius as he marched from the room. Remus was standing with his back to the wall, a shaking hand covering his face. Dumbledore had stopped talking in the middle of his muttered sentence and was staring at Remus curiously. Arthur and Tonks were gaping stupidly.

Oh, what a thing to say in a room full of people! They were… they were…!

“Remus,” Dumbledore said in his soft, kind voice. Remus looked up to where Dumbledore was studying him above the rim of his half-moon glasses. Remus was shaking his head.

“It’s madness, it’s absolute madness.”

“Planning to gain governance of the world is madness,” Dumbledore said with a wistful smile, “this is only… natural, to find together in a time of danger, to seize the day, so to speak.”

“I can’t.” Remus’ voice broke, and Molly felt his pain like it was her own. How often hadn’t she worried that Arthur would never come back home to her?

“You’re losing your chance,” Dumbledore said. “Regret is such a painful thing to live with, don’t let it be yours as it is mine.” Remus held his eyes like a child lost in a storm clinging to a piece of driftwood. “Go on,” Dumbledore urged, now with a true smile on his lips. Remus swallowed before he hesitantly left the room.

“Shall we continue, then?” Tonks asked eagerly, though she looked like she was trying to regain her bearings.

“I think,” Dumbledore mumbled, “we better give them some time. We can meet again tomorrow.” His eyes met Molly’s, and she felt like he could read her mind. He winked at her, then rose gracefully from his chair and left the room with Snape not far behind.

The others filed out one by one and Molly ushered Arthur out before her. As she stepped into the hallway she took a step back and peeked into the room with the Black family tree on the wall. They were simply standing there, embracing, not talking it seemed, just holding each other like they never wanted to let go. She left quickly, before Arthur noticed that she’d held back.

*

“Would you have thought?” Arthur asked excitedly when they were in the car. “Sirius Black and Remus Lupin!” he was giggling. “See, I knew the muggles were onto something! How wonderful!”

She grabbed his hand as the English countryside passed by beneath them.

“Do you think Dumbledore…” she trailed off.

“If he knew? No, I don’t think even Dumbledore knew!” Molly shook her head. That wasn’t what she’d meant, she could only think of the way he’d looked at Remus, that smile on his face…

“No, I mean – do you think Dumbledore is… like them?” She grimaced.

“Dumbledore? No! Why would you say that?” She shrugged.

“No, no I’m just being silly.” She smiled to herself, however. It made sense, didn’t it?

Oh, but it was wonderful indeed, although she understood all too well Remus’ hesitation. She could only hope that the war would be over before it truly began, that they would live through it and come out on the other side, scarred most like, but alive. And then, then they could have happiness, then they could truly get to know Harry. And Harry, the poor boy, might finally have something like a family.

Molly felt her eyes water, and she sniffled.

“Molly, are you crying?” Arthur asked, and the car veered to the right as he looked at her.

“Oh, I’m just silly, my dear. I’m so happy you see.” Arthur smiled at her and squeezed her hand in his.

**Author's Note:**

> I did not have some time to spare, so I wrote a little fic because, well, why not make myself more stressed than I already am?
> 
> I also have fallen right back into the same old rabbit hole that is this pairing. Perhaps this will get it out of my system! *cackles hysterically*
> 
> Hope you enjoyed, please leave a kudos and a little comment if you did, every one makes my day!


End file.
